Over the Christmas break I had a week/10 days that I felt really good. I was happy, I was sleeping good, I had a bit of energy, everyone seemed to get along and everything seemed to line up just right. It was so nice to feel almost normal for a little over a week. I haven’t felt even remotely close to normal in years.
But now it’s gone and I am back to grumpy, cranky, crying, dopey and whatever other dwarf names you can add in here.
It’s a few things, the biggest of which is changing medication – again. Weaning from one antidepressant to another causes me to have horrible mood swings. Matt & the kids can’t even look at me without me screaming about something. Add in not sleeping well, getting back into a schedule after a few weeks off, the pounding headache I have had the past 3 days and the crappy weather we have been having, and you get me – the walking time bomb.
Today I was set off by the kids asking me to fix the Xbox over and over, after they were told to wait. I was set off any time I had to repeat myself, which was often. And I was set off by the phone ringing, the dog barking, the kids yelling, the dog in my way, the kids in my way, my breakfast getting interrupted, the kids walking in on me in the bathroom, etc. – anything, really!
And so now I am sitting here, my head pounding, feeling awful about yelling at the kids. Twice I have gotten up away from the computer to start the housework, and both times something has set me off into screaming and/or crying. All I have accomplished is a load of laundry and sweeping half of the living room floor.
I don’t know if it was fate, or just a coincidence, that this article: 21 Ways to Stop Yelling showed up in my news-feed this afternoon. And it actually had some good advice. All 25 things are simple, easy to do things. I like simple, in the moment things like “#3: close your eyes” or “#2: take deep and calculated breathes” or “#9: go into the bathroom”. I also love the idea of switching the yelling into something fun like painting (#7), baking (#5), doing jumping jacks (#18) or having a dance party (#20). My favorites? “#1: Ask for help” and “#21: hug them”.
Now if I can just remember these “in the moment”. I wonder if this is something I should print off and hang on the fridge?
I hope your weekend is going better than mine! (And I hope these crankies pass quickly!!)